They always fall into these three categories


Each person I have ever slept with can be classified into three groups of dirty talk.

If you’ve been someone who had sex with me on Dirty Roulette, you probably hated reading that first line, assuming it must mean our gender was the same as before and after – but that’s not true. all I say.

Each experience varies widely, but when it comes to being heard between the sheets, I’ve always found people in one of three very distinct but broad categories – whether in a one-night-to-one relationship. three year relationship. I am also straight, so without pointing fingers, I am also talking about men.

I can never choose what kind of room speaker they’re going to be while we engage in a little date chat or even chat in public, but once they mumble, moan, or whisper that first dirty talk line, it becomes pretty obvious to me which band they’ll be housed in.

It’s like I’m unconsciously transforming into The Sorting Hat of Harry potter or something.

I’m not going to shit on the shelf walls

So without further ado, let’s meet these talkers.

1. The Superior Gasser

This is the absolute divine level, IMO. People skip the line and pay $ 0 entry fees at the pearly white doors. They toss compliments left, right, and center – and it only makes me want to start doing shit and shit for them. Gas me any day of the week. It’s a bit like this:

Them: “Fuck your body looks crazy when you do that.”
Me: “Oh my god, I’m gonna suck you dry as soon as you start telling me that shit.” Even if I find you dead, it’s not my type on paper.

I don’t think people realize how much you can turn someone on by telling them how soft their skin is or that their head game is the best you’ve ever had.

At the moment, personally, I don’t care if what they say is true or not (probs not), but believe me when I say, there are people (me) who reject it with this type of ‘encouragement.

dirty talk types

2. The territorial

You know this person.

“Whose cat is this?” is their benchmark and they are what I like to call the Ego Talker ™. We know them well and these humans love, love, love to know that she (ze pussy) is theirs. I’ll take a risk and say you’ve probably heard the classic “You’re my little slut” (which presents the need for a more in-depth conversation, but that’s a story for another day), however, let’s all take a moment of silence for those who flirt with the “future” discourse.

I launch the podcast good bitch with my co-host, Jodie Clarke, and one of our listeners revealed that a sexual partner walked away from some kind of dirty talk ~ engagement ~.

“He would get away with it really quickly if our dirty talk was more about our future together.” Like, he would always say, ‘Tell me you’re my wife’ and then he would come immediately, ”they shared.

You can listen to this full episode of Dirty Talk here, but this future mid-coitus talk is much more common than anyone would like to admit.

I have to hand it over to those who asked me to be my future baby daddy during cowgirl. The ambition is burning.

3. The silent witness

I have met this human twice in my life and I do not wish this experience on anyone.

Imagine this: it’s dark, you have sex and they put it on. to which you get no response. Meeting with absolute silence.


I’m so confused by this character – what are you thinking? Where are you mentally at the moment? I need answers and I never would have answered your DM if I had known I would be having sex with a mime.

dirty talk types
Voice preferences in the bedroom are extremely diverse and, make no mistake, I’m not here to judge – just here to share. The more we talk about different kinds of dirty talk in the bedroom, the less shock we will be when they come to us. God knows that at first it was complete silence accompanied by some encouraging and sometimes rigged moans. But we’re older now – wiser.

Whatever your personal style of communicating in the bedroom, read the room and inflate your partner, verbally or physically. Someone once told me that “No matter how bad you think you are at dancing on a dance floor, you will always look worse not to dance.”

Translation? If anyone says anything to you in the room, please respond. It would be rude not to.

Jules Rangiheuea is the co-host of the Good Bitch podcast. You can listen to the full episode on Dirty Talk here, and follow her and co-host Jodie Clarke on the ‘gram here.

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