Outstanding Debt – HHQH http://hhqh.net/ Thu, 04 Nov 2021 12:32:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8 https://hhqh.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/icon-2-150x150.png Outstanding Debt – HHQH http://hhqh.net/ 32 32 Reviews of Down With the King, The Humans https://hhqh.net/reviews-of-down-with-the-king-the-humans/ https://hhqh.net/reviews-of-down-with-the-king-the-humans/#respond Thu, 04 Nov 2021 12:26:47 +0000 https://hhqh.net/?p=1705 Austin Film Festival made its grand in-person return to the city Oct. 21-28, bringing exciting new movies to cinephiles from here and abroad. Didn’t make it out? Here’s a roundup of a few flicks we caught at the fest that you should keep an eye on. Also, check out full reviews of festival selections “The French […]]]>

Austin Film Festival made its grand in-person return to the city Oct. 21-28, bringing exciting new movies to cinephiles from here and abroad. Didn’t make it out? Here’s a roundup of a few flicks we caught at the fest that you should keep an eye on. Also, check out full reviews of festival selections “The French Dispatch,” “C’mon C’mon” and “Spencer” at austin360.com.

‘Down With the King’

In a deeply visceral opening scene, gangsta rapper Money Merc (Freddie Gibbs) helps farmer Bob (Bob Tarasuk) peel the skin off a hog carcass.

Merc is eager to get his hands dirty. Sequestered by his manager in a luxurious cabin in the Berkshires so he can focus on his next album, Merc instead becomes preoccupied with Bob, the farm and forging a connection to something deeper than a fickle music industry with an insatiable hunger for formulaic hits.

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“Like a sexy knitting bee” The midlife women bringing the world real sex stories https://hhqh.net/like-a-sexy-knitting-bee-the-midlife-women-bringing-the-world-real-sex-stories/ https://hhqh.net/like-a-sexy-knitting-bee-the-midlife-women-bringing-the-world-real-sex-stories/#respond Thu, 04 Nov 2021 12:21:21 +0000 https://hhqh.net/?p=1714 Sex attitudes Marie-Louise Cochrane found herself in midlife three years ago when her marriage ended. “I thought about what I was keeping and what I was letting go of at this time in my life. I find it interesting that adults leave behind parts of themselves to be acceptable. The second part of life is about […]]]>

Sex attitudes

Marie-Louise Cochrane found herself in midlife three years ago when her marriage ended.

“I thought about what I was keeping and what I was letting go of at this time in my life. I find it interesting that adults leave behind parts of themselves to be acceptable. The second part of life is about reintegrating the pieces that you left behind, and finding those that you need.

Cochrane started to search for conversations around sex on dateblocker.com (for dirty roullete. But she found that the type of conversation she wanted, the kind with open, honest stories, was rare. “I had an idea. I wanted to hear women talk about the good stuff in sex. But that didn’t happen so I set up this project. I would tell women whom I met at networking events, at church, at work, that I was collecting happy stories about sex. Either one of the two women would respond with, “Wow, that’s amazing!” or they might back off and be a bit shocked.

She observed that anyone who was interested would have an impressive reaction. “People would start laughing and giggling, and the energy would increase in the room. It was evident that the women were being given permission.

Heidi Docherty, a poet and comedian friend, was one of the first to join her cause.

Docherty recalls she was invited to dinner by Docherty. “I think I was half through a potato, when she said, ‘I have a proposal. It’s all about women’s sexuality. At first, I thought I was coming to dinner.

Docherty, who is a professional storyteller, was no stranger to performing that gives off a frisson. Parma Violence, Mel & Sue-type comedy duo she was part of, included Docherty.

Red Velvet Revelry began to emerge from the stories that Cochrane had been collecting. The Scottish Storytelling Festival commissioned them to create their current show. This includes their own stories and others, and they hope to go further. It is called Ladies Who Like It. It was created by Docherty and features stories from a range of women, including a swinging teacher, a disabled activist, a BDSM advocate, and many others. Cochrane shares her personal story of Ann Summers’ first visit.

Cochrane states that the invitation to listen is not limited to women. It is also open to anyone who cares about women and their stories.

Cochrane has a fascinating background. Cochrane is a former Catholic church secretary and drug counsellor. Over many years she has been telling stories around food for children as Mrs Mash, a well-known children’s storyteller.

Shouldn’t there be more transparency on the subject? Cochrane acknowledged that “maybe someone woman already talks about these things”. However, Cochrane states that “maybe someone women already talk about these things”. It’s a mix of happy stories and slightly funny songs that makes the show so unique. They ask them questions such as, What is wrong with me? How can I ask for what you want?

Their goal was reaching a diverse group and inviting them to tell their stories. “I had some stories of younger women, but most of the happy stories I received were from older women. That is partly due to the fact that I am an older woman.

“I have a lot more beautiful stories from women older than myself. I think it’s because older women feel more comfortable with their sexuality when they reflect on their sexual journeys.”

It’s not about erotic content for her. It’s about sharing and living a life. This site was created to allow women to hear other women’s stories. If these stories are similar to you, that is a confirmation of your own experience. If it’s not, and it’s told in a humane and warm way, it can encourage women to think about it and say, “Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. I’d love to try that.”

Cochrane had been working as a storyteller for 16 years prior to starting the project. She says she never went to a storytelling event with explicit sexual content throughout all that time. “There are many traditional stories with sexual content. However, right now sex in Scottish storytelling is not part the culture.”

Sex storytelling isn’t dead. SmutSlam International, an American phenomenon, holds events around the globe. Cameryn Moon created it as “a global community of dirty-storytelling open mics, events, and events”. It gives audience members the opportunity to fill out a bucket and stand on stage with a real-life story of sex.

Cochrane saw a SmutSlam at the Edinburgh Fringe. The event was hosted in Safari Lounge. Cochrane found it to be “very sex-positive”, but unlike her other events, it is “outrageous”, and has “got more” of an edge.

“This is more Edinburgh… it’s a warm invite to talk about sexuality, a safe space. It’s not full of dirty stories. It’s not telling stories out of school. It’s not being rude to your partner. It’s women being free to look at their own experiences and decide what they like or don’t.

Ladies Who Like It even has a title that suggests a soft-spoken attitude. It is more fur coats and naeknickers than hardcore. Cochrane says that “the context is that I am an Edinburgh-born woman and so for me get up to tell stories with sexual contents has an edge.”

Families break down the taboo about menopause

“We are not so sexually confident we could do this in our sleep. It’s not that simple. This is something we feel is important and we are willing take the risk of being vulnerable. Plus, all of the women who have shared their stories with us were a bit vulnerable.”

Docherty describes it as something akin to a “sexy knit bee”.

If you are going to discuss storytelling about sex, then the Vagina monologues must be mentioned. Eve Ensler’s classic 1996 play is a must. Cochrane remembers that her 82 year-old mother hosted a reading in support of the Southside Community Centre four years ago.

She says that it was a courageous thing she did and she considers herself a role-model. “But the Vagina monologues are very difficult to listen. I don’t know much of the language so it is hard to hear. This is because of the warmth. This is a warm tone.

It is also important to note that few events have been held in similar venues for male sex storytelling. A gathering of men to share honest, vulnerable and open stories about their sex lives, and how they feel about it, is a rare sight. Sex has traditionally been a male industry. Most of the time, it was dominated by women. Many of the most prominent figures in sex-advice are women, such as Esther Perel. Helen Fisher. Tracey Cox. Women are also trying new ways of telling more honest stories on TV, such as Sharon Horgan’s Catastrophe or Michaela Colel’s I May Destroy You.

img alt=”HeraldScotland – Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan” src=”https://www.heraldscotland.com/resources/images/13088109.jpg?type=article-full” title=”HeraldScotland: Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan. “/>

Cochrane notes that, although Ladies Who Like It focuses on positive stories, such as stories about evolution, celebration and transformation, Cochrane has observed that not all of her conversations with women were about “happy stories.” Some of them, she said, were “not as happy”.

She points out that those stories are very important and must be shared. “But if a person is in an abusive relationship, how do they talk about it? If you can’t talk about sex?” That, she believes, should be one of the reasons for promoting sex discussion. “Sex is not something we should be discussing. This is a problem that society faces.

A woman suffering from punk disabilities

Penny Pepper wrote one of the stories for the show. She is an activist and writer. Cochrane said that Pepper was raised as a punk. It’s part her whole identity. She wasn’t just a disabled lady, she was also a punk disabled girl. She was a writer with her own sex life. She is now open to talking about it.

Pepper was interviewed by me for Still Hot!, a book about the menopause. She was strong in her message about representations in erotic literature. “Disabled females having sex are not something you read about and we should do it,” she stated. “It should be visible for all disabled people. It needs to be told as a story. It is a story from the great and contradictory melting pot that is humanity. Every human being has a right to their place in the story.

The most important thing in sexual relationships is how we talk about it. Cochrane says that during the initial stages, she met a man who she has since developed a friendship with. As a “subconscious check”, the first thing she did was to mention what she was working on. “I told her I was working with a project on happy stories of sexuality for women, and the fact he didn’t flinch as we continued to have an informed and interesting conversation was a clear sign that this was a man worth talking to.”

The result, she claims, is that she’s now in “a very conscious adult relation of two people who are capable of talking about it fully”. In her very first days of having sex, she broached even the subject.

Docherty considers that working on the series has changed her life. “Marie Louise has helped me feel more alive. She has been very courageous, and she has found a new sense of sexuality and sensuality. I came up with the idea that motherhood is a transitional period. Also, we lose a little bit of our sexuality as well as our sensuality. However, as grown-ups, we are starting to rewaken. We’re sort of returning to our former selves. We’re reblossoming.”

She and Cochrane remember the messages they received as teenagers – the exhortations for being a “good girl”

Docherty said that her mother had given her only one piece in sex education. The world has changed dramatically since they were teenagers. Docherty and Cochrane both admit that they have tried their best to openly discuss sex with their sons, Docherty having two, while Cochrane three. Docherty notes that the situation is not always rosy with young people. There is still little discussion of female pleasure. “There is an enormous amount of pressure on young girls now to be sexualized, and they are being pressurized by the growing number of pornography available. It is becoming harder and more difficult to find good pornography.”

Cochrane points out that part the problem is that adults who act as parents or guides for the young people, are “grown adults who don’t have permission” to talk about such things.

Her hopes are that people leave the show feeling more comfortable in sex. This would be a positive impact on young people’s lives.

The story collection aims to be diverse. However, the two are, in fact, strikingly, two middle aged women creating a show sex. They do it at a point in their lives when most people think we should stop talking about the subject. Sex in midlife is still taboo even though there are television series like Wanderlust starring Toni Colette and Sex In The City, which continues to explore midlife.

Libido decreases in many women after menopause as well as for many men during midlife. It is not difficult to see that many people would rather not have sex as the center of their universe.

Many can relate to Kristin Scott Thomas’s memorable Fleabag response. “Honestly darling, can’t even be arsed. “I’m going home to have one more Martini.

Research shows there is a strong connection between healthy sex and a better quality of life. According to one study published in the Annals of Family Medicine Communication is key to whether women remain sexually active beyond their mid-life years. TraceyCox, a sex specialist, starts her book Great Sex At 50 with four tips. The final tip is that we “talk sex”. She observed, too, how many couples stop having sexual relations in their mid-life years.

It is important to understand what Docherty, Cochrane and others are doing. They are starting conversations. They are helping to open up dialogue about this complex topic. Cochrane stated, “I’d love it if people went home feeling like, “Oh, I’m going talk to my partner or to my friends more about homosexuality.” She hopes that what they’re doing will help women and their partners (male and female) to open up the conversation. I hope people will start to talk about sexuality.

Ladies Who Love It will be attending the Scottish Storytelling Festival at Edinburgh, October 19

READ MORE

Sex attitudes

Marie-Louise Cochrane found herself in midlife three years ago when her marriage ended.

“I thought about what I was keeping and what I was letting go. I find it interesting that adults leave behind parts of themselves to be acceptable. The second part of life is about reintegrating the pieces that you left behind, and finding those that you need.

Cochrane started to search for conversations about sex. However, she found that the kind Cochrane was looking forward to, which was the kind of honest, open talk, were not very common. “I thought that women should talk about the good stuff in sex. I was not finding that information so I started the project. I would tell women whom I met at networking events, at church, at work, that I was compiling happy stories about sex. Either one of the two women would respond with, “Wow, that’s amazing!” or they might back off and be horrified.

She noticed that anyone who was interested would have an immediate reaction. “The energy would increase in the room, and people would start giggling or laughing. I felt that the room was allowing women permission.

Heidi Docherty, a friend, poet, and comedian was one of the many people she recruited to her cause. Heidi now visits her Edinburgh home for a rainy-day chat.

Docherty says that Docherty invited her for dinner. “And I think I was just halfway through a potato, when she said, ‘I have a proposal. It’s all about women’s sexuality. At first, I thought I was coming to dinner.

Docherty, who is a professional storyteller, was no stranger to performing that gives off a frisson. Parma Violence, Mel & Sue’s comedy duo that she was part of, has been her previous experience.

Red Velvet Revelry began to emerge from the stories that Cochrane was collecting. Their current show has been commissioned to them by the Scottish Storytelling Festival. It incorporates both their own stories and those from other women. The aim is to go further. It is called Ladies Who Like It. It was created by Docherty and features stories from a range of women, including a swinging teacher, a disabled activist, a BDSM advocate, and many others. Cochrane tells her story about Ann Summers, her first visit.

Cochrane states that the invitation to listen is not only to women, but to all people who care about them and their stories.

Cochrane has a fascinating background. Cochrane has served as a Catholic priest secretary and a counselor on drugs. She is also a well-known storyteller for children, Mrs Mash.

Shouldn’t there be more transparency on the issue? Cochrane admits to Cochrane that “maybe someone else women already talk about such things”. However, Cochrane states that “maybe someone women already talk about these things”. It’s a mix of happy stories and slightly funny songs that makes the show so unique. They ask them questions such as, What is wrong with me? How can I ask for what you want?”

Their goal was reaching a wide range of women to invite them to share their stories. “I had some stories to share from younger women, but most of those who were willing and able to tell me happy stories were older women. That is partly because I am an older woman.

“I have many beautiful stories of women much older than me. I think it’s because older women feel more comfortable in their sexuality, and are more open to reflecting on their sexual journeys.”

It’s not about erotic content for her. “It’s about living experience and sharing – it’s made for women to listen to other women’s stories. If these stories are similar to you, that is a confirmation of your own experience. If it’s not and it’s told warmly and with humanity, it can encourage a woman to say, “Oh! I hadn’t thought that – that would be great!

Cochrane had been working as a storyteller for 16 years prior to starting the project. She was a professional storyteller for 16 years when she started the project. However, she says she had never been to an event featuring sexual content. “There are many stories with sexual content that were told in the past. However, sex is not a part of Scottish storytelling at the moment.”

Sex storytelling does exist, but it’s not the case that it isn’t. SmutSlam International, an American phenomenon, holds events all around the world. Cameryn Moon created it as “a global community of dirty-storytelling open mics, events, and events”. It gives audience members the opportunity to fill out a bucket and stand on stage with a real-life story of sex.

Cochrane saw a Smut Sham when it was presented at the Edinburgh Fringe. The event was held in Safari Lounge. Cochrane found it to be “very sexy positive”, but unlike her previous events, it is “outrageous”, and has “got more” of an edge.

“This is more Edinburgh…it’s warmly inviting to talk about sexuality, a safe environment. It’s not full of dirty stories. It is not telling stories at school. It’s not being disrespectful to your partner. It’s about women being free to look at their own experience and decide what they like or don’t.

Ladies Who Like It even has a title that suggests a soft-mannered attitude. It’s more fur coat, nae jeans, than hardcore. Cochrane states, “The context of the book is that I am a Scottish-born woman and it gives me an edge to tell stories about sexual content.”

Families Breaking the Menopause Taboo

“We’re not sexually confident enough to be able to do it in the comfort of our own beds. It’s not that simple. This is something we believe is important, so we’re willing take the risk and be a little vulnerable. A lot of the women who have shared their stories with us were a bit vulnerable.”

Docherty describes it as something akin to a “sexy knit bee”.

If you are going to discuss storytelling about sex, then the Vagina monologues must be mentioned. Eve Ensler’s classic 1996 play is a must. Cochrane remembers that her 82 year-old mother hosted a reading in support of the Southside Community Centre four years ago.

She says that it was a courageous thing she did and she considers herself a role-model. “But the Vagina Monologues is difficult to listen. Even the language can be difficult for me because it is unfamiliar. This is because of the warmth. This is a warm tone.

It is also important to note that few events have been held in similar venues for male sex storytelling. A gathering of men to tell their honest, vulnerable and open stories about their sex lives, and how they feel about it, seems more rare than usual. Sex has traditionally been a female-dominated field. Many of the most prominent figures in sex-advice are women, such as Esther Perel. Helen Fisher. Tracey Cox. Women are also trying new ways of telling more honest stories on TV, such as Sharon Horgan’s Catastrophe and Michaela Cooper’s I May Destroy You.

img alt=”HeraldScotland – Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan.” src=”https://www.heraldscotland.com/resources/images/13088109.jpg?type=article-full” title=”HeraldScotland: Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan. “/>

Cochrane notes that, although Ladies Who Like It focuses on positive stories, such as stories about evolution, celebration and transformation, Cochrane has observed that not all conversations she’s had with women were about “happy stories.” Some of them, she said, were “not as happy”.

She says that these stories are important and must be shared. She says, “But if your abusive relationship isn’t allowed to talk about sexuality, how can you talk about it?” This, she believes to be one of the reasons to encourage all discussion about sex. “If we are unable to talk about sex, then we have all the other things that we can’t discuss.” This is a problem that society faces.

A woman who is a bit of a punk addict

Penny Pepper wrote one of the stories for the show. She is an activist and writer. Cochrane says, “She was raised a punk,” and that’s part her whole identity. She wasn’t a blind woman. She was a writer with her own sex life. She is now open to talking about it.

Pepper was interviewed by me for Still Hot!, a book about the menopause. She was strong in her message about representations in erotic literature. “Disabled females having sex are not something you read about and we should do it,” she stated. It needs to be visible for others with disabilities, and it should be told as a story. It’s a story of the great, but contradictory melting pot humanity. And each human being deserves to be included in it.”

The most important thing in sexual relationships is how we talk about it. Cochrane says that she first met a man while working on the project. She has since developed a friendship with him. As a “subconscious check”, the first thing she did was to mention what she was working on. “I told her I was doing a project on happy stories of sexuality for women, and the fact he didn’t flinch as we continued to have an interesting conversation was a clear sign that he was worth my time.”

She claims that the result is that she’s now in a “very conscious adult relation of two people who can fully discuss it”. In those early days she even brought up the issue of having sex during her period.

Docherty considers that working on the series has changed her life. “Marie Louise has helped me feel more alive. She’s brave and has discovered new sexuality. I came up with the idea that motherhood is a transitional period. Also, we lose a little bit of our sexuality as well as our sensuality. However, as grown-ups, we are starting to rewaken. We are kind of returning to our former selves. We’re reblossoming.”

Both Cochrane, she and Sheila recall the messages they received as teenagers – the exhortations for being a “good girl”.

Docherty said that her mother had given her only one piece in sex education. The world has changed dramatically since they were teenagers. Docherty and Cochrane both admit that they have tried their best to openly discuss sex with their sons, Docherty having two and Cochrane three. Docherty notes that the situation is not always rosy with young people. There is still little discussion about female pleasure. “There is an enormous amount of pressure on young girls now to be sexualized, and they are being pressurized by the pornography that has become increasingly accessible and more extreme.”

Cochrane points out that part the problem is that adults who act as parents or guides to their young children are “grown adults, who still don’t have permission for this stuff to be discussed.”

Her hopes are that viewers feel more confident in their sexuality and this would help them to speak to young people.

Although they are trying to tell a variety of stories, the two women are strikingly middle-aged and creating sex shows. They do it at the age when people think we should be quieter about the topic. Sex in midlife is still taboo even though there are television series like Wanderlust (starring Toni Colette) or Sex In The City (which continues its journey into middle life), which attempt to bring it to the public’s attention.

Women’s libido decreases with age, just as it does for men. It is not difficult to see that many people would rather not have sex as the centre of their universe.

Many can relate to Kristin-Thomas’s memorable Fleabag rebuff. “Honestly darling, can’t even be arsed. I’m going home to have one more Martini.

Research shows there is a strong connection between a healthy sexual life and a better quality of life. According to one study published in the Annals of Family Medicine Communication is key to whether women remain sexually active beyond their mid-life years. TraceyCox, a sex expert and author of Great Sex starts at 50, shares four top tips. The last tip is that we “talk sex.” She observed, too, how many couples stop having sexual relations in their mid-life years.

It is important to understand what Docherty, Cochrane and others are doing. They are beginning a conversation. They are helping to open up dialogue about this complex topic. Cochrane stated, “I’d love it if people went home feeling like, ‘Oh. I’m going to talk to my partner or to my friends more about homosexuality.'” I believe what we’re doing can open up that conversation for both men and women, nonbinary and gender-neutral. I’m hopeful that people will start to talk about sexuality.

Ladies Who Love It will be in Edinburgh at the Scottish Storytelling Festival on October 19

READ MORE

Atitudes towards sex

WHEN, three years ago, Marie-Louise Cochrane came to the end of her marriage, she found herself in midlife, reflecting on all her beliefs, including her attitudes towards sex.

“I thought, what am I keeping and what am I letting go of at this stage of life? I’m interested in this idea that in adulthood you leave parts of yourself behind to be acceptable, and that the second half of life is about reintegrating them, about finding those bits that you left behind.”

Cochrane started to seek out conversations around sex – and found that the kind of talk she was looking for, the kind of frank, open stories, were rare and few. “I had this idea that I would like to hear women talking about the happy stuff around sex. But I wasn’t coming across that so I started this project. I would tell women that I met at networking events, or at church, or through work that I was collecting happy stories around sex. Either women would respond with, ‘wow that’s amazing’ and often they would go on and tell a story or they would back off and be a bit horrified.”

Those that were interested, she observed, would have quite a striking reaction. “The energy would go up in the room and people would start giggling and laughing. I had a real sense that there’s something here about giving women permission.”

Among the people she enlisted to her cause was friend, poet and comedian, Heidi Docherty, in whose Edinburgh home she now sits for a rainy afternoon chat.

“She invited me for dinner,” Docherty recalls, “and I think I was about halfway through a potato when she said, ‘I’ve got a proposal. It’s about women’s sexuality.’ I thought I was just coming for dinner.”

Docherty, a professional storyteller, wasn’t a newcomer to performance that delivers a frisson. She had been part of Mel and Sue-type comedy duo, Parma Violence.

The two soon formed Red Velvet Revelry, a series of storytelling and music events around women and sex, based on the tales that Cochrane was collecting. Their current show, which has been commissioned by the Scottish Storytelling Festival, incorporates their own stories and those of other women, and aims to reach further. Titled Ladies Who Like It, it is, says Docherty, “the permission slip to talk about sex”, and includes stories from a diverse range of women including a swinging schoolteacher, a disabled activist, a BDSM advocate and others. Cochrane tells her own story about her first visit to Ann Summers.

“The invitation to listen,” adds Cochrane, “is not just to women, but to those who care about women and their stories.”

What’s fascinating, partly, is Cochrane’s background. She has been a Catholic church secretary and a drugs counsellor, and for many years she has told stories, for kids, around food, as the popular children’s storyteller, Mrs Mash.

Aren’t we all more open about the issue already? Cochrane acknowledges that “maybe someone women do already talk about these things”. But, she says, “There are whole subsections of women who are not talking about it for various reasons. One of the things about the show is we’ve got these happy stories and some slightly humorous songs. They ask questions like, Is there something wrong with me? How do I ask for what I want?”

Their aim was to reach a diverse group of women and invite them to tell their stories. “I had some stories from younger women but most of the people who were willing to tell me their happy stories were older women, partly because of the age that I am.

“I have a lot of beautiful stories from women who are a lot older than me and I think there’s something around older women being more comfortable with their sexuality, in reflecting on their sexual journeys.”

For her, this isn’t about erotic content. “It’s about lived experience and sharing – it’s created for women to hear other women’s stories. If those stories are similar to your own then that confirms your own experience and if it’s different to yours and it’s told with a humanity and warmth, it can allow a woman to think, ‘Oh, I hadn’t thought about that – I’d like to try that.’”

Cochrane had been a professional storyteller for 16 years when she started the project. In all that time, she observes, she had never been to a storytelling event that had sexual content. “There are lots of traditional stories where there must have been sexual content in the past, but right now sex is just not part of the culture in Scottish storytelling.”

It’s not that sex storytelling doesn’t exist at all globally. The North American phenomenon Smut Slam International, for instance, runs events around the world and describes itself as is “a global network of community dirty-storytelling open mics and events, created by Cameryn Moore”. It provides a space in which audience members can put their name in a bucket and have the chance to stand up and tell a real-life sex story on stage.

Cochrane attended a Smut Slam when the event came to the Edinburgh Fringe, and was hosted in the Safari Lounge and found it “very sex positive”, but that unlike her own events it is “outrageous” and has “got more of an edge”.

“This is a more Edinburgh version…it’s a warm invitation to talk about sex, a safe space. It’s not dirty stories. It’s not telling tales out of school. It’s not being disloyal to your partner. It’s women being able to reflect on their own experience, what they like and what they don’t like.”

Even its title, Ladies Who Like It, suggests a mild-mannered attitude that’s more fur coat, nae knickers than explicit hardcore. “The context is that I am a woman who has been born and brought up in Edinburgh and so for me to get up and tell stories with sexual content has an edge,” says Cochrane.

Families busting menopause taboo

“We’re not so sexually confident that we could do it in our sleep. It’s not like that. This is something that we think is important so we’re willing to take the risk of doing that and being a bit vulnerable. Plus all the women who have told us their stories have been a bit vulnerable.”

Docherty describes it as a bit like “a sexy knitting bee”.

Any discussion of storytelling about sex, of course, has to include the 1996 classic play by Eve Ensler, the Vagina Monologues. Cochrane recalls that four years ago her 82-year-old mother organised a reading as a fundraiser for women’s groups at the Southside Community Centre.

“That was quite a brave thing to do, so she’s a bit of a role model,” she says. “But the thing about the Vagina Monologues is it’s quite hard to listen to. Even some of the language is difficult because I’m not used to it. This is different because of the warmth. This is a warm tone.”

It’s also worth noting that there are few similar events around male sex storytelling. A bunch of men gathering to tell frank, vulnerable, honest stories about their sex life and how they feel about it seems like even more of a rarity. Talking honestly, rather than boasting, about sex has mostly been a female field. The vast majority of high-profile figures in the sex advice world are women: Esther Perel, Helen Fisher, Tracey Cox. Women are also finding new ways to tell ever more frank stories on TV, from Sharon Horgan’s Catastrophe to Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You.

HeraldScotland: Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan.

Though Ladies Who Like It is mostly an upbeat show, with stories on themes like transformation, evolution and celebration, Cochrane observes that not all of the conversations she has had with women have been about “happy stories”. Some, she says, have been “not so happy”.

“Those stories are important and need to be witnessed,” she notes. “But if you’re in an abusive relationship how do you then talk about it if you’re not allowed to talk about sex?” This, she believes, is one of the reasons to encourage all conversation about sex. “If we can’t talk about sex then here are all these other things we can’t talk about. That’s a problem for society.”

A punk disabled woman

One of the stories in the show is from Penny Pepper, an activist and writer of explicit fiction, including the collection Desires Reborn. “She was brought up a punk,” says Cochrane, “and that’s part of her whole identity. She wasn’t just a disabled woman, she was a punk disabled woman. She was a writer with a sex life and she is willing to talk about her sex life and she’s written a book of erotic stories with characters who are disabled.”

I have interviewed Pepper myself, for my book about the menopause, Still Hot! and was struck by the strength of her message about representation in erotic literature. “Disabled women having sex is not a thing you read about and it’s time that we did,” she said. “It needs to be there for other disabled people, it needs to be there as a story, needs to be shown for endless reasons. It’s a story from the great, contrary melting pot of humanity. And every human being deserves their place in it.”

How we talk about sex is of most importance within our sexual relationships. Cochrane recalls that during the early stages of the project she met a man with whom she has since forged a relationship. The first thing she did, as a “subconscious test” was mention what she was working on. “I told him I was doing this project about women’s happy stories of sexuality, and the fact that he didn’t flinch and we went on to have an interesting and informed conversation was a real sign to me that here was a man who was worth speaking to.”

The result is, she says, she is now in “a very conscious adult relationship of two people who are able to talk about it fully”. She even, in those very early days, broached the subject of having sex during her period.

Docherty feels that working on the show has been life-changing. “Marie-Louise has reawakened a sense of blossoming for me because she’s been very brave and she’s found a new sexuality and sensuality in her life. I had this idea that other day that when we become mothers we become mums. And we lose a bit of our sensuality and our sexuality. But we are reawakening now with having grown up children. So we’re kind of going back a little bit to our former selves. We’re reblossoming.”

Both she and Cochrane recall the messages they absorbed in their childhood and teenage years – the exhortations to be a “good girl”.

“Just be careful,” observes Docherty, was the one piece of sex education her mother gave her. Things obviously have moved on since their teenage years and they both talk about having done their best to be frank about sex with their now adult sons – Docherty has two, Cochrane has three. But, Docherty observes, things are not exactly rosy for young people either. There is still relatively little talk of female pleasure. “There is quite a lot of pressure now to be over-sexualised and for young girls to be pressurised by the large amount of pornography that has become so accessible and is becoming more hardcore.”

Cochrane observes part of the problem is that even now the adults who are parents or guides to the young people are “grown adults who still don’t have permission to talk about this stuff.”

Among her hopes is that people will leave the show feeling more comfortable about sex and themselves, and that would have an impact on speaking to young people in their lives.

Though their story-collecting aims to be diverse, the duo are of course, strikingly, two middle-aged women creating a show about sex – and doing it at the point in life when, according to popular view, we’re supposed to quieten down about the subject. Sex in midlife and older is still a relative taboo, even in spite of attempts by television series like Wanderlust, starring Toni Colette, or Sex In The City on its continuing journey into midlife, to bring it to our screens.

HeraldScotland: CHANNEL FOUR TELEVISION.124 HORSEFERRY ROAD.LONDON SW1P 2TX.0171 306 8685..C4 - .Sex in the City..FREE OF CHARGE FOR CHANNEL FOUR PROGRAMME PUBLICITY ONLY..

Libido does, of course, lessen for many women during the menopause, as it does for many men in midlife. There’s no denying that many people are quite happy not to make sex the centre of their universe.

Many would relate, for instance, to the memorable rebuff a menopausal Kristin Scott-Thomas delivers in Fleabag. “Honestly, can’t be arsed, darling. I’m going to go back to my room and have one more Martini.”

But research has shown that there’s a strong link between a healthy sex life and higher quality of life as individuals age. Communication, according to one study from the Annals of Family Medicine, has been found to be a key factor influencing whether women keep sexually active after midlife. In her book, Great Sex Starts At 50, sex expert Tracey Cox begins with four ultimate tips, the last of them being that we “talk about sex”. She observes too, that in midlife, many couples stop having sex without even talking about it.

What Docherty and Cochrane are doing in other words is key. They are starting a conversation. They are helping us talk about this, for many, difficult subject. “I would love it,” Cochrane says, “if people went away feeling, ‘Oh, I’m going to speak to my partner or my friends more about sexuality.’ I’m hoping what we’re doing will open that conversation for women and their partners, male and female, and nonbinary. I’m hoping this will help people talk about sex.”

Ladies Who Like It is at the Scottish Storytelling Festival in Edinburgh on October 19

READ MORE: “There is still a silence around the menopause… We need to get rid of that.”

Atitudes towards sex

WHEN, three years ago, Marie-Louise Cochrane came to the end of her marriage, she found herself in midlife, reflecting on all her beliefs, including her attitudes towards sex.

“I thought, what am I keeping and what am I letting go of at this stage of life? I’m interested in this idea that in adulthood you leave parts of yourself behind to be acceptable, and that the second half of life is about reintegrating them, about finding those bits that you left behind.”

Cochrane started to seek out conversations around sex – and found that the kind of talk she was looking for, the kind of frank, open stories, were rare and few. “I had this idea that I would like to hear women talking about the happy stuff around sex. But I wasn’t coming across that so I started this project. I would tell women that I met at networking events, or at church, or through work that I was collecting happy stories around sex. Either women would respond with, ‘wow that’s amazing’ and often they would go on and tell a story or they would back off and be a bit horrified.”

Those that were interested, she observed, would have quite a striking reaction. “The energy would go up in the room and people would start giggling and laughing. I had a real sense that there’s something here about giving women permission.”

Among the people she enlisted to her cause was friend, poet and comedian, Heidi Docherty, in whose Edinburgh home she now sits for a rainy afternoon chat.

“She invited me for dinner,” Docherty recalls, “and I think I was about halfway through a potato when she said, ‘I’ve got a proposal. It’s about women’s sexuality.’ I thought I was just coming for dinner.”

Docherty, a professional storyteller, wasn’t a newcomer to performance that delivers a frisson. She had been part of Mel and Sue-type comedy duo, Parma Violence.

The two soon formed Red Velvet Revelry, a series of storytelling and music events around women and sex, based on the tales that Cochrane was collecting. Their current show, which has been commissioned by the Scottish Storytelling Festival, incorporates their own stories and those of other women, and aims to reach further. Titled Ladies Who Like It, it is, says Docherty, “the permission slip to talk about sex”, and includes stories from a diverse range of women including a swinging schoolteacher, a disabled activist, a BDSM advocate and others. Cochrane tells her own story about her first visit to Ann Summers.

 

“The invitation to listen,” adds Cochrane, “is not just to women, but to those who care about women and their stories.”

What’s fascinating, partly, is Cochrane’s background. She has been a Catholic church secretary and a drugs counsellor, and for many years she has told stories, for kids, around food, as the popular children’s storyteller, Mrs Mash.

Aren’t we all more open about the issue already? Cochrane acknowledges that “maybe someone women do already talk about these things”. But, she says, “There are whole subsections of women who are not talking about it for various reasons. One of the things about the show is we’ve got these happy stories and some slightly humorous songs. They ask questions like, Is there something wrong with me? How do I ask for what I want?”

Their aim was to reach a diverse group of women and invite them to tell their stories. “I had some stories from younger women but most of the people who were willing to tell me their happy stories were older women, partly because of the age that I am.

“I have a lot of beautiful stories from women who are a lot older than me and I think there’s something around older women being more comfortable with their sexuality, in reflecting on their sexual journeys.”

For her, this isn’t about erotic content. “It’s about lived experience and sharing – it’s created for women to hear other women’s stories. If those stories are similar to your own then that confirms your own experience and if it’s different to yours and it’s told with a humanity and warmth, it can allow a woman to think, ‘Oh, I hadn’t thought about that – I’d like to try that.’”

Cochrane had been a professional storyteller for 16 years when she started the project. In all that time, she observes, she had never been to a storytelling event that had sexual content. “There are lots of traditional stories where there must have been sexual content in the past, but right now sex is just not part of the culture in Scottish storytelling.”

It’s not that sex storytelling doesn’t exist at all globally. The North American phenomenon Smut Slam International, for instance, runs events around the world and describes itself as is “a global network of community dirty-storytelling open mics and events, created by Cameryn Moore”. It provides a space in which audience members can put their name in a bucket and have the chance to stand up and tell a real-life sex story on stage.

Cochrane attended a Smut Slam when the event came to the Edinburgh Fringe, and was hosted in the Safari Lounge and found it “very sex positive”, but that unlike her own events it is “outrageous” and has “got more of an edge”.

“This is a more Edinburgh version…it’s a warm invitation to talk about sex, a safe space. It’s not dirty stories. It’s not telling tales out of school. It’s not being disloyal to your partner. It’s women being able to reflect on their own experience, what they like and what they don’t like.”

Even its title, Ladies Who Like It, suggests a mild-mannered attitude that’s more fur coat, nae knickers than explicit hardcore. “The context is that I am a woman who has been born and brought up in Edinburgh and so for me to get up and tell stories with sexual content has an edge,” says Cochrane.

 

Families busting menopause taboo

“We’re not so sexually confident that we could do it in our sleep. It’s not like that. This is something that we think is important so we’re willing to take the risk of doing that and being a bit vulnerable. Plus all the women who have told us their stories have been a bit vulnerable.”

Docherty describes it as a bit like “a sexy knitting bee”.

Any discussion of storytelling about sex, of course, has to include the 1996 classic play by Eve Ensler, the Vagina Monologues. Cochrane recalls that four years ago her 82-year-old mother organised a reading as a fundraiser for women’s groups at the Southside Community Centre.

“That was quite a brave thing to do, so she’s a bit of a role model,” she says. “But the thing about the Vagina Monologues is it’s quite hard to listen to. Even some of the language is difficult because I’m not used to it. This is different because of the warmth. This is a warm tone.”

It’s also worth noting that there are few similar events around male sex storytelling. A bunch of men gathering to tell frank, vulnerable, honest stories about their sex life and how they feel about it seems like even more of a rarity. Talking honestly, rather than boasting, about sex has mostly been a female field. The vast majority of high-profile figures in the sex advice world are women: Esther Perel, Helen Fisher, Tracey Cox. Women are also finding new ways to tell ever more frank stories on TV, from Sharon Horgan’s Catastrophe to Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You.

HeraldScotland: Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan.

Though Ladies Who Like It is mostly an upbeat show, with stories on themes like transformation, evolution and celebration, Cochrane observes that not all of the conversations she has had with women have been about “happy stories”. Some, she says, have been “not so happy”.

“Those stories are important and need to be witnessed,” she notes. “But if you’re in an abusive relationship how do you then talk about it if you’re not allowed to talk about sex?” This, she believes, is one of the reasons to encourage all conversation about sex. “If we can’t talk about sex then here are all these other things we can’t talk about. That’s a problem for society.”

A punk disabled woman

One of the stories in the show is from Penny Pepper, an activist and writer of explicit fiction, including the collection Desires Reborn. “She was brought up a punk,” says Cochrane, “and that’s part of her whole identity. She wasn’t just a disabled woman, she was a punk disabled woman. She was a writer with a sex life and she is willing to talk about her sex life and she’s written a book of erotic stories with characters who are disabled.”

I have interviewed Pepper myself, for my book about the menopause, Still Hot! and was struck by the strength of her message about representation in erotic literature. “Disabled women having sex is not a thing you read about and it’s time that we did,” she said. “It needs to be there for other disabled people, it needs to be there as a story, needs to be shown for endless reasons. It’s a story from the great, contrary melting pot of humanity. And every human being deserves their place in it.”

How we talk about sex is of most importance within our sexual relationships. Cochrane recalls that during the early stages of the project she met a man with whom she has since forged a relationship. The first thing she did, as a “subconscious test” was mention what she was working on. “I told him I was doing this project about women’s happy stories of sexuality, and the fact that he didn’t flinch and we went on to have an interesting and informed conversation was a real sign to me that here was a man who was worth speaking to.”

The result is, she says, she is now in “a very conscious adult relationship of two people who are able to talk about it fully”. She even, in those very early days, broached the subject of having sex during her period.

Docherty feels that working on the show has been life-changing. “Marie-Louise has reawakened a sense of blossoming for me because she’s been very brave and she’s found a new sexuality and sensuality in her life. I had this idea that other day that when we become mothers we become mums. And we lose a bit of our sensuality and our sexuality. But we are reawakening now with having grown up children. So we’re kind of going back a little bit to our former selves. We’re reblossoming.”

Both she and Cochrane recall the messages they absorbed in their childhood and teenage years – the exhortations to be a “good girl”.

“Just be careful,” observes Docherty, was the one piece of sex education her mother gave her. Things obviously have moved on since their teenage years and they both talk about having done their best to be frank about sex with their now adult sons – Docherty has two, Cochrane has three. But, Docherty observes, things are not exactly rosy for young people either. There is still relatively little talk of female pleasure. “There is quite a lot of pressure now to be over-sexualised and for young girls to be pressurised by the large amount of pornography that has become so accessible and is becoming more hardcore.”

Cochrane observes part of the problem is that even now the adults who are parents or guides to the young people are “grown adults who still don’t have permission to talk about this stuff.”

Among her hopes is that people will leave the show feeling more comfortable about sex and themselves, and that would have an impact on speaking to young people in their lives.

Though their story-collecting aims to be diverse, the duo are of course, strikingly, two middle-aged women creating a show about sex – and doing it at the point in life when, according to popular view, we’re supposed to quieten down about the subject. Sex in midlife and older is still a relative taboo, even in spite of attempts by television series like Wanderlust, starring Toni Colette, or Sex In The City on its continuing journey into midlife, to bring it to our screens.

HeraldScotland: CHANNEL FOUR TELEVISION.124 HORSEFERRY ROAD.LONDON SW1P 2TX.0171 306 8685..C4 - .Sex in the City..FREE OF CHARGE FOR CHANNEL FOUR PROGRAMME PUBLICITY ONLY..

Libido does, of course, lessen for many women during the menopause, as it does for many men in midlife. There’s no denying that many people are quite happy not to make sex the centre of their universe.

Many would relate, for instance, to the memorable rebuff a menopausal Kristin Scott-Thomas delivers in Fleabag. “Honestly, can’t be arsed, darling. I’m going to go back to my room and have one more Martini.”

But research has shown that there’s a strong link between a healthy sex life and higher quality of life as individuals age. Communication, according to one study from the Annals of Family Medicine, has been found to be a key factor influencing whether women keep sexually active after midlife. In her book, Great Sex Starts At 50, sex expert Tracey Cox begins with four ultimate tips, the last of them being that we “talk about sex”. She observes too, that in midlife, many couples stop having sex without even talking about it.

What Docherty and Cochrane are doing in other words is key. They are starting a conversation. They are helping us talk about this, for many, difficult subject. “I would love it,” Cochrane says, “if people went away feeling, ‘Oh, I’m going to speak to my partner or my friends more about sexuality.’ I’m hoping what we’re doing will open that conversation for women and their partners, male and female, and nonbinary. I’m hoping this will help people talk about sex.”

Ladies Who Like It is at the Scottish Storytelling Festival in Edinburgh on October 19

 

READ MORE: “There is still a silence around the menopause… We need to get rid of that.”

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How the calculation of the numbers is likely to decide the 2021 Formula 1 World Championship – CONAN Daily https://hhqh.net/how-the-calculation-of-the-numbers-is-likely-to-decide-the-2021-formula-1-world-championship-conan-daily/ https://hhqh.net/how-the-calculation-of-the-numbers-is-likely-to-decide-the-2021-formula-1-world-championship-conan-daily/#respond Fri, 29 Oct 2021 11:15:11 +0000 https://hhqh.net/how-the-calculation-of-the-numbers-is-likely-to-decide-the-2021-formula-1-world-championship-conan-daily/ Since 2010, Formula 1 experienced two periods of complete domination. The first was with Red bull and Sebastien vettel, who won the Drivers’ World Championship for four consecutive years until 2013. Then, from 2014, Mercedes have had a head start, winning both championships each season. british driver Lewis hamilton had an astonishing run of good […]]]>

Since 2010, Formula 1 experienced two periods of complete domination. The first was with Red bull and Sebastien vettel, who won the Drivers’ World Championship for four consecutive years until 2013.

Then, from 2014, Mercedes have had a head start, winning both championships each season. british driver Lewis hamilton had an astonishing run of good form and would have already beaten Michael schumacherrecord of seven world titles without his teammate Nico Rosberg Only five points ahead of him in 2016. Hamilton, however, equalized in 2020 after winning 11 of 17 races.

2021 has turned out to be very different though. After some rule changes and off-season development, Red Bull were able to catch up with the Silver Arrows and fight for the title. Hungry for his first championship, the Dutchman Max Verstappen leads the charge and leads with 12 points ahead of Hamilton after the United States Grand Prix.

The two have traded their top spots several times over the course of the year and it looks like the championship battle will be on the wire in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates on December 12, 2021.

With margins this tight, a single quit or mistake might be enough to decide who will celebrate at the end of the year. It also means that strategy and counting the numbers will be just as crucial to the outcome of the title battle as driving skills.

.

Numbers in sport

The use of mathematics, statistics and probability is not exclusive to Formula 1. We can find it applied to strategic decisions in just about every discipline on the planet. Games like blackjack and roulette are built around probabilities and skilled players try to apply strategies that will change the odds.

Likewise, in the NBA, strategists applying complex calculations, game theory, and improving player skills have combined to increase the frequency with which teams shoot for 3-point field goals. Since the introduction of the 3-point rule in 1980, the number of attempts at this type of shooting has increased from less than 5% to almost 40% today.

In Formula 1, strategic decisions are essential to position yourself on the right track and beat your rivals.

The pit stop exceeds

There are two places to overtake in Formula 1: on the track and in the pit lane. Most of the time, everyone would prefer drivers to beat their rivals by using racing gear to overtake them on the circuit, but the dirty air that prevents cars from closely following the corners means that pit passes are a problem. equally important.

We saw that come into play during the United States Grand Prix, when Lewis Hamilton beat Max Verstappen from the start, taking the lead in the first corner. Verstappen failed to pass on the circuit, so his team called him for an early pit stop to change the tires.

F1 cars must use at least two types of tires during a race (except when it is raining) and, therefore, must make at least one pit stop.

Drivers who stop before their rival can try to perform what is called the “undercut”, a strategic game where they stop earlier in order to have fresh rubber. This coolness provides more grip, helping cars go faster.

If the driver can then close the gap between himself and his rival less than the time needed to make a pit stop (20 seconds in the case of the United States Grand Prix), then he will have successfully cleared and passed his opponent. .

.

Counter-strategy

The correct timing of pit stops in order to undermine a rival requires careful calculation, simulation and consideration. Strategists need to figure out the different permutations, predict how the other teams will counter their moves, and decide which option is most likely to work.

Teams will usually employ an entire team of people to do this calculation which will work for weeks before the race, feeding new data into their models. They will also continue throughout the Grand Prix itself, entering real data into their simulations.

Countering strategic movements requires the same effort. In the case of the undercut, it is sometimes possible to “go long”, with the defending driver waiting several laps before stopping after a rival. The reason behind this is that at the end of the race they will have cooler tires than their opponent and may be able to overtake them on the track.

But as we have seen in the USA, it is more difficult because the dirty air comes into play.

.

Effect on the 2021 Championship

With Mercedes and Red Bull cars and drivers tied, strategy will play an important role in deciding who wins the championship. The two would prefer to beat their opponent in a wheel-to-wheel fight, but the dirty air will make that difficult.

F1 in 2021 will therefore be as much a mental as a Dirty Roulette physical competition.

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They always fall into these three categories https://hhqh.net/they-always-fall-into-these-three-categories/ https://hhqh.net/they-always-fall-into-these-three-categories/#respond Thu, 15 Jul 2021 07:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/they-always-fall-into-these-three-categories/ Each person I have ever slept with can be classified into three groups of dirty talk. If you’ve been someone who had sex with me on Dirty Roulette, you probably hated reading that first line, assuming it must mean our gender was the same as before and after – but that’s not true. all I […]]]>

Each person I have ever slept with can be classified into three groups of dirty talk.

If you’ve been someone who had sex with me on Dirty Roulette, you probably hated reading that first line, assuming it must mean our gender was the same as before and after – but that’s not true. all I say.

Each experience varies widely, but when it comes to being heard between the sheets, I’ve always found people in one of three very distinct but broad categories – whether in a one-night-to-one relationship. three year relationship. I am also straight, so without pointing fingers, I am also talking about men.

I can never choose what kind of room speaker they’re going to be while we engage in a little date chat or even chat in public, but once they mumble, moan, or whisper that first dirty talk line, it becomes pretty obvious to me which band they’ll be housed in.

It’s like I’m unconsciously transforming into The Sorting Hat of Harry potter or something.

I’m not going to shit on the shelf walls

So without further ado, let’s meet these talkers.

1. The Superior Gasser

This is the absolute divine level, IMO. People skip the line and pay $ 0 entry fees at the pearly white doors. They toss compliments left, right, and center – and it only makes me want to start doing shit and shit for them. Gas me any day of the week. It’s a bit like this:

Them: “Fuck your body looks crazy when you do that.”
Me: “Oh my god, I’m gonna suck you dry as soon as you start telling me that shit.” Even if I find you dead, it’s not my type on paper.

I don’t think people realize how much you can turn someone on by telling them how soft their skin is or that their head game is the best you’ve ever had.

At the moment, personally, I don’t care if what they say is true or not (probs not), but believe me when I say, there are people (me) who reject it with this type of ‘encouragement.

dirty talk types

2. The territorial

You know this person.

“Whose cat is this?” is their benchmark and they are what I like to call the Ego Talker ™. We know them well and these humans love, love, love to know that she (ze pussy) is theirs. I’ll take a risk and say you’ve probably heard the classic “You’re my little slut” (which presents the need for a more in-depth conversation, but that’s a story for another day), however, let’s all take a moment of silence for those who flirt with the “future” discourse.

I launch the podcast good bitch with my co-host, Jodie Clarke, and one of our listeners revealed that a sexual partner walked away from some kind of dirty talk ~ engagement ~.

“He would get away with it really quickly if our dirty talk was more about our future together.” Like, he would always say, ‘Tell me you’re my wife’ and then he would come immediately, ”they shared.

You can listen to this full episode of Dirty Talk here, but this future mid-coitus talk is much more common than anyone would like to admit.

I have to hand it over to those who asked me to be my future baby daddy during cowgirl. The ambition is burning.

3. The silent witness

I have met this human twice in my life and I do not wish this experience on anyone.

Imagine this: it’s dark, you have sex and they put it on. to which you get no response. Meeting with absolute silence.

HELLO? ARE YOU STILL IN THE BEDROOM?

I’m so confused by this character – what are you thinking? Where are you mentally at the moment? I need answers and I never would have answered your DM if I had known I would be having sex with a mime.

dirty talk types
Voice preferences in the bedroom are extremely diverse and, make no mistake, I’m not here to judge – just here to share. The more we talk about different kinds of dirty talk in the bedroom, the less shock we will be when they come to us. God knows that at first it was complete silence accompanied by some encouraging and sometimes rigged moans. But we’re older now – wiser.

Whatever your personal style of communicating in the bedroom, read the room and inflate your partner, verbally or physically. Someone once told me that “No matter how bad you think you are at dancing on a dance floor, you will always look worse not to dance.”

Translation? If anyone says anything to you in the room, please respond. It would be rude not to.

Jules Rangiheuea is the co-host of the Good Bitch podcast. You can listen to the full episode on Dirty Talk here, and follow her and co-host Jodie Clarke on the ‘gram here.

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CMI on the value of an exit strategy https://hhqh.net/cmi-on-the-value-of-an-exit-strategy/ https://hhqh.net/cmi-on-the-value-of-an-exit-strategy/#respond Fri, 09 Jul 2021 07:01:30 +0000 https://hhqh.net/cmi-on-the-value-of-an-exit-strategy/ It’s an important concept, but often misunderstood in the private lending world: the exit strategy, or having a plan in place to move from private space to a lender A. Having a viable exit strategy – a way to identify the path back to the banks after securing a private mortgage – is an invaluable […]]]>

It’s an important concept, but often misunderstood in the private lending world: the exit strategy, or having a plan in place to move from private space to a lender A.

Having a viable exit strategy – a way to identify the path back to the banks after securing a private mortgage – is an invaluable advantage for homebuyers who find themselves in the private space, according to the chief. Canadian Mortgages Inc. (CMI) sales operations team. Cynthia Clark (photo).

Indeed, it’s an idea that brokers and their clients should always keep in mind: what a long-term transaction will look like instead of just considering what might be the best solution today.

These exit strategies, she told Canadian Mortgage Professional, generally take two forms in the private lending arena. The first is to use a private mortgage to gradually help repair a borrower’s credit, allowing them to position themselves with a bank in the not-so-distant future.

In this case, CMI can set up a private mortgage to help borrowers clean up their secured and unsecured debts, so that over a period of time – say six months – their credit rating can improve enough to reach ” more stringent minimum beacon score for banks. Criteria.

The second exit strategy, explained Clark, is to sell a property. For clients who may have financial problems, a short-term mortgage can be put in place to help eliminate past due debts and / or judgments – or even provide the ability to renovate or improve the property – so that ‘it can be sold afterwards.

Read more : What sets some brokers apart from others

“We can put a second private mortgage behind a traditional first mortgage – maybe to get money from the borrower for renovations, to consolidate some debt, or to help them in some other way,” he said. she said, “A lot of people are using our second mortgage to top up their first bank mortgage.”

One of the great advantages of private lending for facilitating these types of exit strategies, Clark said, is the flexibility it can offer.

“It is very important to keep in mind that private loan options are extremely flexible in terms of the length of the term,” she said. “Say, for example, a client has a longer-term first mortgage with a traditional bank and they only need to withdraw equity for a shorter, second mortgage. This is where we come in and help a borrower.

Another use of this second mortgage, she said, could be to allow borrowers to help their children increase the down payment required to buy their first home.

Clark pointed out that the short-term solution offered by a private mortgage works in tandem with any longer-term mortgage a client onDirty Roulette may have. This added flexibility also means that lenders like CMI can offer anything from a short term bridge of a few days to a longer contract of up to 24 months.

It can also offer less hassle with documentation and having to meet strict bank regulations, she said, while often being a quicker solution to put in place.

Not only that: sometimes private lenders can offer a cheaper option compared to traditional mortgages.

“Usually with private loans, the shorter the term of the mortgage, the lower the rate and the lower the fees. It’s somewhat different from banks, which tend to have higher rates with shorter, open terms, ”she said.

“If you go to a bank and ask for a six-month open, that rate will be much higher than their fixed five-year rate. With us you can apply for this short term open mortgage rate and it in some cases could be cheaper and less complicated than what the banks would offer.

Read more : Why brokers should get involved in private lending

This is an important point to note, Clark said, with private mortgages sometimes having a reputation for being more expensive than traditional products. In fact, the rates and charges for private solutions are based on a number of different factors, she said, one being the overall risk of the case.

Another is the customer’s ability to pay, which is a requirement for private mortgages despite the lack of established guidelines on gross debt service (GDS) and total debt service (TDS). Even though the client does not have this ability, Clark said that CMI’s prepaid options – deducting all payments for the term of the mortgage from the advance rather than requiring the client to make a monthly payment. – demonstrate again how flexible private lending solutions can be.

The case for working with a private lender

With the different options that private lenders can facilitate for exit strategies, Clark said it’s critical for brokers to become familiar with the space and its various benefits, especially in light of the growth of the industry over the course of time. recent years and future growth projections.

“I think it’s really important for mortgage brokers to have a thorough understanding of private lending,” she said. “What COVID-19 has done is underscore the need for increased flexibility in the mortgage market and its lending guidelines.

“Although banks are regulated by the government, private lenders do not have these same strict regulations, and in many cases they may be a better option due to the added flexibility, especially for clients who do not fit. not in the category of traditional lenders. ”

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Ellesmere Port “Scary” Man’s Sexual Discussions with “12-Year-Old Girl” https://hhqh.net/ellesmere-port-scary-mans-sexual-discussions-with-12-year-old-girl/ https://hhqh.net/ellesmere-port-scary-mans-sexual-discussions-with-12-year-old-girl/#respond Thu, 08 Apr 2021 07:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/ellesmere-port-scary-mans-sexual-discussions-with-12-year-old-girl/ A “CREEPY, Dirty” sex offender from Ellesmere Port believed he was chatting online with a 12-year-old girl – but he was actually a National Crime Agency agent in disguise. Steven Moore, 51, of Lamprey Road, claimed to be a 19-year-old bisexual using the Kik Messenger chat and asked “Jess” about his Dirty Roulette sexual history. […]]]>

A “CREEPY, Dirty” sex offender from Ellesmere Port believed he was chatting online with a 12-year-old girl – but he was actually a National Crime Agency agent in disguise.

Steven Moore, 51, of Lamprey Road, claimed to be a 19-year-old bisexual using the Kik Messenger chat and asked “Jess” about his Dirty Roulette sexual history.

When police visited her home in January 2020, they confiscated a Huawei cell phone and found an indecent 58-second video of an underage girl in the shower.

Judge Patrick Thompson, who sentenced Moore to Chester Crown Court on Thursday, April 8, said he “deserved” to go to jail, but gave him a suspended sentence after hearing about the success rate sex offender treatment programs and Moore’s jail time. would mean that his nine-month-pregnant wife would be unable to pay the mortgage and would therefore be homeless.

But Judge Thompson also slammed the charge for charging Moore with “sexual communication with a child,” carrying a maximum penalty of two years in prison, rather than a more serious charge carrying a penalty of longer prison.

He said: “The powers of the courts are limited; judges do not choose charges. I have said it in other cases and the public then complains about the penalties.

“It happens over and over again. I have told other judges of this court about it and we are frustrated – our powers are extremely limited.”

Continuing, Ryan Rothwell said Moore pleaded guilty to both counts.

It was August 2019 when Moore, using the online alias Daveixxx, used Kik Messenger and contacted ‘Jess’, appearing to be a 12-year-old girl but actually an NCA agent catching pedophiles.

Moore said he was 19, “bisexual and bored,” when he was 49 at the time.

They spoke about where they lived and Moore said he was invited by a man to a “SPH” – or “small penis humiliation” chat room.

When ‘Jess’ said she had her fingernails painted, he asked for a photo, adding: “Please baby”.

After receiving a photo which also showed a girl’s legs, he replied, “Your legs are beautiful too.”

He asked “Jess” for a photo of her belly and at one point he texted, “Is it really bad that I am feeling mean?” ”

He then wrote: “You’re not going to tell your friends that you talked to a 19 year old, are you?

Moore then asked the girl to call him by a name such as “sir” or “daddy,” adding, “Ok baby, are you ready to do what your mister says? ”

He asked her about her bra size and, after receiving a measurement, replied: “So small: P”

Moore asked if the girl had touched herself and inquired about the sexual activities she had had with her ex-partner.

Moore’s IP address was traced back to his home and police intervened in January 2020 at 6:45 a.m., seizing his cell phone, for which Moore refused to give out the PIN.

After unlocking it, one of the search terms Moore used was “minor.”

The accused had no previous convictions.

In defense, Howard Jones said a pre-sentence report and character references had been submitted, and Moore would still plead guilty, and that the offenses dated back “some time.”

Judge Thompson noted that the police already had evidence of Kik Messenger, but it took several more months before Moore was charged and the case could have gone to court “much sooner.”

Mr Jones said Moore took the Lucy Faithfull Course for People Who Offended Online, doing something to remedy her behavior.

The lawyer also obtained a document on the day of the accused’s conviction, in which Moore admitted he had an unhealthy sexual interest in children.

The original PSR was of concern as it had suggested that Moore had committed the offenses because he was “stressed and overwhelmed with work”.

Justice Thompson remarked, “I am not a psychiatrist, but people, when stressed, do not go on the Internet to talk to children about sexual matters.

He added, “I don’t even know what Kik Messenger is other than dealing with cases like this. Men in their 50s shouldn’t be engaging in those kinds of conversations there. ”

Mr Jones added that if Moore went to jail his nine-month-pregnant wife would be left homeless.

Upon sentencing, Judge Thompson said: “You said you were bisexual and bored – the truth is you are getting ready. You came out as a creepy dirty old man.

“You blame it on stress in your job; I don’t accept it. I think you have an unhealthy sexual interest in children. If you didn’t accept it today, you would go to jail.”

Moore was sentenced to eight months in prison, suspended for two years. He had to complete 20 days of a rehab activity required to include the Maps for Change course.

He also has to do 200 hours of unpaid work, has been on the Sex Offender Register for 10 years and has a 10-year Sexual Injury Prevention Order.

The Huawei phone was to be confiscated.

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Quick and Dirty Q’s of the Savage Love Livestream https://hhqh.net/quick-and-dirty-qs-of-the-savage-love-livestream/ https://hhqh.net/quick-and-dirty-qs-of-the-savage-love-livestream/#respond Thu, 25 Mar 2021 07:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/quick-and-dirty-qs-of-the-savage-love-livestream/ Illustration by Jack Raybuck I want to thank everyone who attended our third Savage Love Livestream last Saturday night. Mistress Matisse was our very special guest and we broached many questions about BDSM during ninety very lively minutes. We could not all question-there were so many—but I will now, as promised, deal with as much […]]]>

Illustration by Jack Raybuck

I want to thank everyone who attended our third Savage Love Livestream last Saturday night. Mistress Matisse was our very special guest and we broached many questions about BDSM during ninety very lively minutes. We could not all question-there were so many—but I will now, as promised, deal with as much leftover livestream as possible in this week’s column …


Dear Dan: You say that people have to be in “good working order” to be in a relationship. What if you are never going to be “in good working order” because of a mental health issue?

Having a mental health problem is not proof that a person is not or cannot be in good working order; likewise, not having a mental health problem is not proof that a person is in good working order. I mean, we all know people without mental health issues who walk in disaster. Now, a person with a mental health condition who refuses to get help or continue taking their medication might not be functioning well enough to nurture or maintain a relationship. But taking care of ourselves is one of the most important ways to show that we are, in fact, healthy enough to be fucking, dating, or getting married. Or all three. Far from proving that you are not fit to be in a relationship, having a mental health issue that you are doing something about – having one or more that you are actively dealing with – is proof that you are in good shape. functioning.


Dear Dan: I am a bi widower and not just anyone. While teaching a zoom course to young people, I accidentally left a tab open that said “gay”. One of the students alerted me in the chat and I closed it right away. It was embarrassing and embarrassing. Should I just ignore it or fix it somehow?

If you wanted to go out, you could take this opportunity to do so. If you don’t want to go out, well you don’t have to, gay tab or no gay tab. Unless the parents complain and demand an explanation, you are free to ignore this. And if someone assumes you’re gay because they’ve seen a gay tab, well, you’re free to tell them they’re wrong… because you’re not gay, you’re bi.


Dear Dan: I’m more into BDSM than my huzzben. He likes it, but he doesn’t initiate the game. How can I encourage him to be the instigator of rough Dirty Roulette sex? We have negotiated limits and safety words, but he finds the use of restraints and toys to be too much work!

From your huzzben made it clear that restraints and toys are too much work, I would advise relieving him of the burden of tying up and shoving toys up your ass by finding a third party who appreciates your sprains and / or regularly attends games with or without your husband, at the end of the pandemic, of course. Who knows? Your husband might not like doing the job of tying you up, but he might like to hug you (or someone else) while someone else does the job of tying you up.


Dear Dan: If my fiancé bought a house, do we say “We bought a house”? I was laid off at the start of the pandemic, but her career took off and she is proud to be able to afford a house on her own. So how do you keep things respectful while honoring its accomplishment? She wants the house to look like mine too. (I’m a guy.)

To casual acquaintances, you might say, “Hey, we’ve got a new place. To your close friends and family, you might say, “She is doing so well that she bought this house.” I am really proud of her and I am so lucky to be with her ”. Hell, you could say these things to casual acquaintances and close friends interchangeably because both are true. And assuming you live in marital status, Mr. Dude, the house also becomes yours after you get married. In the meantime, you can earn some equity (and owner’s credit) by taking the initiative to fix the place.


Dear Dan: I have a question about the “at-risk, tech-savvy youth” working on the Savage Lovecast. Wouldn’t it be nicer to just call them tech-savvy kids? What do they think of having the label “at risk” applied? It sure gives you a maybe deserved pat on the back, but I can’t help but think that a little bit of stigma could be detrimental. I was an ‘at risk’ youth myself and although I enjoyed and benefited from programs specially created to help adolescents / young people in my situation, I was always very aware that it made me feel ‘less than’. and like I was in need of special treatment.

I wasn’t trying to congratulate myself when I started calling the kids who worked on Lovecast “tech-savvy, at-risk youth.” It was just a joke – maybe not funny – because they were certainly all tech-savvy of course, but the only risk they ran was being in the same room with me. I’m sorry if this joke reminds you of a time in your life when you felt “less than”.


Dear Dan: We have a friend who could be a unicorn. They have already subtly expressed their interest although they are generally possessive and should be “number one” in a relationship. We are interested but we fear that their possessiveness will cause problems.

I guess your friend is sexy – I mean, that would explain why you’re willing to ignore how emotionally unsuitable he is for the unicorn role. Because if you are looking for someone to play a sexy but subordinate role in your relationship, if you are not looking for an equal partner and / or if you are not open to your unicorn becoming an equal partner, the last person on earth that you should consider because your unicorn is someone you know to be possessive and interested in being the first, not the last.


Dear Dan: I am a 27 year old gay / poly woman from New York. My question: I used to babysit my friend’s baby. And when I showed up for babysitting, her husband was there to let me into the apartment and we chatted for ten minutes before he left for work. I don’t babysit anymore, but sometimes he texts me a picture of the baby and I say, “So cute! It seemed normal. But one day he texted me two selfies. I didn’t answer because I found it weird. Is this something I should mention to my friend? I can’t tell if it’s weird enough to talk to her. Or is there something I should have told him?

You don’t know what’s going on in your friend’s relationship – maybe flirting with other people is okay – but do you know what you think about her husband sending you your selfies: you don’t like it . If your silence wasn’t enough to end it and he sends you more pictures and / or messages that make you uncomfortable, tell him to stop. If he can’t, tell him that he won’t give you any choice but to alert his wife. If he still doesn’t succeed, alert his wife.


Dear Dan: I am 39 years old, cis and female. COVID has really exploded my libido. I have masturbated twice in the past four months. I guess my question is… do you think things will get back to normal? Please tell me yes.

Yes.


Dear Dan: I have impostor syndrome when I go to rope jams and the like, but I really like the kinkster community. Can I go to evil events even if I have trouble identifying my perverts?

As long as you are respectful, as long as you don’t gape, take pictures without permission, or make shocked faces, you are more than welcome in most big evil events. Sometimes the hosts of smaller, more intimate games have rules that would prohibit the presence of someone who had no problems or who had not yet identified their problems; at small parties, the host may want everyone to be in a certain type of equipment or interested in a certain type of game. If you are wondering if you are welcome to observe the game at an event or of a particular rope jam, email the organizers and ask.


Dear Dan: I have a friend who wanted to play pets and talked about being a cow and bought breast pumps to try and start lactation. Do you have any tips on how to safely support her in this area? I’m potentially open to playing with her, if that’s safe, and I’m curious that she can even start breastfeeding.

Do people keep cows as pets? Anyway, according to the La Leche League, regular use of a breast pump can “induce lactation”, which is “the official term for making milk without pregnancy or childbirth.” So, the sooner your friend starts using this pump, the sooner she can pretend to be your hot and horny pet cow.


Thanks again to everyone who joined us for the livestream and we’ll be scheduling another one very soon!

mail@savagelove.net

Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

savagelovecast.com

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An expert guide to mastering dirty talk https://hhqh.net/an-expert-guide-to-mastering-dirty-talk/ https://hhqh.net/an-expert-guide-to-mastering-dirty-talk/#respond Fri, 19 Feb 2021 08:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/an-expert-guide-to-mastering-dirty-talk/ Sex can be a tricky area for people at times. This is normal and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If there are areas that interest you but never felt brave enough to try – sex toys for example – it may seem daunting at first. But fear less, folks. Because here at Lifehacker, […]]]>

Sex can be a tricky area for people at times. This is normal and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If there are areas that interest you but never felt brave enough to try – sex toys for example – it may seem daunting at first.

But fear less, folks. Because here at Lifehacker, we want to give you all the tools you need to learn more about new areas in a safe and comfortable setting.

Today, I want to talk about dirty talk. Of all the Dirty Roulette sex topics, this one can be one of the most intimidating for people because you use your own words.

So, to provide a soft landing for people who are diving into this area for the first time, I enlisted the expertise of psychotherapist and relationship therapist, Christine Rafe of Good Vibes Clinic.

Here are his tips for mastering the pig language.

It does not need to be reserved for the room:

Rafe explained to me that you can experiment with using dirty talk in all kinds of contexts. It doesn’t have to be when you’re in the bedroom, and it doesn’t need to be reserved when you’re in the middle of sex, either.

“Dirty talk isn’t just about when you’re acting, you can talk dirty – whether in person or not – at any time. [with consent]. The dirty talk that occurs long before and long after sex helps fuel the desire for future encounters with that person, ”she said.

Personalize your dirty talk:

One of the easiest ways to explore dirty talk, Rafe explained, is to express what you like. It’s a great way to develop communication around sex, and it’s going to feel pretty darn hot, too.

“Dirty talk is even sexier if it’s something you actually know about your own body or your own experience,” she said.

“Knowing your own pleasure and arousal and then telling your sex partner will increase your pleasure and educate them about your unique sexual pleasure. “

Examples like “I like it when” or “It makes me feel X when you Y” are good places to start.

Practice makes perfect – yes, even with dirty talk:

The only way to get better at anything is to practice, folks. Rafe told me:

“As with any assertive sexual communication, I always encourage my clients to identify the things they would like to say and practice saying them on my own – or with a trusted friend or therapist – out of the moment.

“Talking dirty, especially for newbies, can seem awkward and awkward because we are not socialized in a world where expressing our sexual desires is learned or encouraged. As we practice, we can desensitize ourselves to any deeply rooted shame, embarrassment, or discomfort that we associate with words or actions by repeating the phrase 10 times (or more). Be comfortable saying it for yourself first, and it will become even more natural in the moment. “

Finally, don’t do anything that doesn’t interest you:

Just because you are having sexual experiences doesn’t mean you should feel uncomfortable. Remember you are here to have a good time.

In this regard, Rafe stressed that mutual respect must be present at all times.

“You can have a sex partner who really wants you to chat the way he likes it,” she said.

“That’s fine, but if you really don’t feel comfortable doing it and you don’t want to explore it, please express it to the sexual partner.” We don’t need to be interested in the same things that we are currently sleeping with. If you don’t feel comfortable but want to give it a try, use the other tips I’ve mentioned to develop your own dirty language, then put them into practice and see how you are!

Ultimately, with all sexual exploration, the name of the game is your enjoyment. So, keep these tips in mind and see how they work for you. Have a good discussion!

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Dirty Talk Q&A: How to Communicate What You Want and How You Want It https://hhqh.net/dirty-talk-qa-how-to-communicate-what-you-want-and-how-you-want-it/ https://hhqh.net/dirty-talk-qa-how-to-communicate-what-you-want-and-how-you-want-it/#respond Fri, 20 Nov 2020 08:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/dirty-talk-qa-how-to-communicate-what-you-want-and-how-you-want-it/ Being honest can be difficult at times. This can be especially difficult when it comes to taboo topics like sex. However, communicating what you want from your partner (s) can open the door to fulfilling your true fantasies and lead to a healthy and vibrant sex life. You might expect these types of conversations to […]]]>

Being honest can be difficult at times. This can be especially difficult when it comes to taboo topics like sex. However, communicating what you want from your partner (s) can open the door to fulfilling your true fantasies and lead to a healthy and vibrant sex life.

You might expect these types of conversations to be awkward, and although they can sometimes be, you’d be surprised at how much better you’ll feel just to keep it all talking, rather than submitting yourself to an eternity. vanilla Dirty Roulette sex. (But hey, if vanilla is your flavor of choice, then that’s something that should be communicated too!)

We’ve had questions this week about being open about what you want in bed and we’re going to give you our two cents. If you have any other questions about sex or relationships for us, send them through our anonymous Google form.

Q: “I just started seeing this new guy, and he’s super passive in bed. I’m someone who really likes dominant types so how can I get him to brutalize me a bit? “

Annie: First of all, you need to sit her down and explain to her what turns you on. It is important to let her know how you would like to be treated in bed, and also that it is okay to treat you in a way that may not be accepted outside of the bedroom. As long as everything is legal and consensual, the rules are yours to decide. Just be sure to take into account their desires and limitations as well, so that both can be satisfied. He may not feel comfortable being more aggressive or experimenting with different positions or methods. If so, you need to work together to find a happy medium. Remember that relationships require compromise.

Maya: Oddly enough, this question reminds me of how history is full of violence against women (an obscurity of our society that endures today). Now, in your situation, you want your man to be dominant. In a sense, it also makes you dominant. This has to do with the novelty of female agency, how women now hold equal power with men, as well as sexual liberation, allowing them to be free in their sexual exploration. What was used against us is now reversed, as centuries-old misogynistic violence has become a power women can control in the bedroom.

In fact, regardless of your gender, having a say in how you want to express your sexuality is in control. Whether you find yourself more aroused in the dominant or passive role, it becomes your power during sex. The dynamic between the two parties comes from you by asserting your agency and being transparent about your desires. Keeping those desires locked up will leave you stuck in a progressive vacuum towards dissatisfaction and repression of your right to sexual expression.

Assert yourself and make your sexual desires heard and also make room for her right to this power. Create a boundary guideline on what type of “brutage” you’re excited about and give him the speaking space to voice his concerns or questions about how far you want him to go. Are slaps your limit? Some scratches ? Whips? Tell her exactly what you are looking for and what you are not looking for.

It’s also good to make sure that you don’t put everything on him too quickly, too bluntly. If you say he tends to be more reserved, your man might naturally instinctively panic. Plus, he’s a new guy, you say? The longer the relationship, the more open and understanding he will be to your requests for BDSM-type experimentation, or as far as you want to go. If you haven’t seen yourself for a long time, someone who isn’t ready to do so may find it easier to shut it down completely. This is something to keep in mind.

There is nothing wrong with being a little demanding on your fantasies, because even though you are already having fun doing the act with your sexual partner, the heights of satisfaction that you can achieve are almost endless. With the possibility that you have to talk verbally about what each of you wants, why limit yourself? Enjoy the wildly experimental world of sex, while staying within the confines of reality.

Q: “My girlfriend is, surprisingly, bad enough to eat me out. I don’t want to insult her femininity or her lesbianism by criticizing her in bed, but I’m not sure how to tell her that what she’s doing there really isn’t my cup of tea. How do I tell her it’s about SUCKING the pussy, not licking the clit? “

Maya: Let me start by saying this is a more appropriate question for Annie, so take a look at her much more reliable answer just below mine. To me, it’s honestly so much sexier when two people learn and practice each other’s gateways to their individual pleasures. Again, comes open communication and crystal clear honesty. Sex is not a simple act and the intricacies that come with determining your partner’s pleasure points are what lead to the most rewarding experiences. Now on our lesbian resident™.

Annie: Thanks Maya! As a member of the lesbian community, I can say that the fear of not being seen as “gay enough” is so real. However, if worded correctly, you can avoid insulting your girlfriend’s lesbianism while expressing your desires and criticizing her oral skills. The best advice I can give you is that when you decide to have this conversation with her, don’t phrase it like she is doing something wrong. Instead, explain that you are interested in trying something new, and that you are curious to see if a different method works better. It distracts from its abilities and instead makes it seem like you’re just trying to change things up in the bedroom.

Also, even if you prefer to suck rather than lick, keep in mind that everyone’s genitals are different and have different sensitivities. There are many factors that come into play in oral pleasure. To name a few, you need to consider the formation, location, pressure, speed, and shape of the tongue. She may focus on your clit because that’s what she prefers, so she assumes that you like her too, or she may not know there is another way to do it.

Try asking her what she likes sexually, as this might lead her to ask you the same question. If she answers the question, you can take the opportunity to explain how you like to be eaten out. It is important to learn the excitement of your partners, especially in a committed relationship. It not only improves sex, but increases the intimacy between you.

Whichever direction you decide to take with the conversation – whether it’s a more direct approach or the more subtle strategy I explained above – be sure to reassure her that your critiques don’t mean you love her less and don’t make her any less strange. .

(Also, while the tongue plays an important role in lesbian sex, remember that your girlfriend has fingers to help you out, too, if needed.)

Yours sincerely,

Maya and Annie


Graphic presented by Sara Mizannojehdehi.

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Need help speaking rudely? 13 sextes that will make you go from 1 to 10 very quickly https://hhqh.net/need-help-speaking-rudely-13-sextes-that-will-make-you-go-from-1-to-10-very-quickly/ https://hhqh.net/need-help-speaking-rudely-13-sextes-that-will-make-you-go-from-1-to-10-very-quickly/#respond Tue, 10 Nov 2020 08:00:00 +0000 https://hhqh.net/need-help-speaking-rudely-13-sextes-that-will-make-you-go-from-1-to-10-very-quickly/ Sexting is more about creating and teasing a fantasy than an orgasm. While it can be very hot to put these conversations into action, sometimes you can just send sext to enjoy the erotica. We bring you expert recommended sexting that will help you have a dirty digital conversation with your partner. So don’t worry […]]]>
Sexting is more about creating and teasing a fantasy than an orgasm. While it can be very hot to put these conversations into action, sometimes you can just send sext to enjoy the erotica. We bring you expert recommended sexting that will help you have a dirty digital conversation with your partner. So don’t worry if you are a newbie to Dirty Roulette sexting, you will do well if you use these sexting.

– When you feel nostalgic: Do you remember that time when you gave me two orgasms in quick succession? Yeah, I can’t stop thinking about it!

– When you send a photo of a sex position: I would love to try this one the next time we have our time.

– When you want them to run their imaginations: I wish you could see what I’m wearing right now. It is in lace and goes up to the top of my thighs. *wink*

– When you need a little pick-me-up at noon: Hey! Small question when I can’t concentrate on anything else at the moment. What would you do to me if we were together right now?

– When you feel playful: What would you do if I walked around the house naked tonight?

– When you feel naughty: I’ll blindfold you and do things to you once you’re there.

– When you want to be romantic: I will light the candles and play some good music so that we dance slowly. Get home quickly!

– When you wake up from a hot dream: I can’t help but dream about you and now I want you all over me.

– When you feel complimentary: Only you can make me feel so good!

– When you’re in the mood to explore: are you ready to try something new tonight?

– When you want to give them some control: What would you like me to do to you now?

– When you dream of last night: I can’t help but think about everything you did to me last night.

– When you want to give words of affirmation: You know exactly what to say to make me hot.

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